And on the eighth day...
a poem written on the morning of November 16, 2016
by Jill L Ross (aka JustJillToday)
Last night I wanted to call “uncle.”
I wanted to tap the ground three times
Accept defeat
And get the bell to ring
So I could get up off the ground
Get out from under the power that
Seems stronger, and more effective than I
Last night I wanted to say “I give.”
Earlier in the day, I did give.
When I paid for my coffee,
I paid for two, and told the cashier it was for the guy still making his at the counter in the back.
I didn’t know him.
Later in the day,
I stopped what I was doing to see whether I could help a guy who set off his car alarm and couldn’t get it to stop.
And when I got it to stop, returned to my customer, and it went off again,
I stopped again – to help.
Random acts of kindness…
Not so random - a desperate effort to regain some sense that kindness is easy,
That the most simple gesture can help me feel, if only for a moment, connected to another human being
That the simplest gesture, sometimes nothing more than holding open a door, can help stop the world for one split second and open a space to feel what it’s like to be kind or receive kindness.
Last night I wanted to say “It’s too hard”
It’s too hard to keep showing up,
Showing up for my own pain and disappointment,
For the pain and suffering of those I love
And those I do not know but for whom I care nonetheless
Last night I wanted to say “I can’t do this anymore”
I can’t one more time try to get someone to see what I see
Or ask someone to help me see what they see
Only to be ridiculed, mocked, attacked, or shut down in some other way
Only be pushed to stay inside the lines – inside the boundaries of “us" or "them"
Two boxes floating in space; no place between
To meet or talk or get to know one another
Last night I wanted to pack my bags and go
Anywhere
Not because I haven’t believed that here is the best place to be
Not because I haven’t loved my home
But because right now this doesn’t feel like home
It doesn’t feel safe
It doesn’t feel like a place where I can take shelter
Where I'll be protected from the harsh would outside
Because right now, I am more afraid of what’s happening right here, in my home
Than I am afraid of what’s ‘out there.’
© 2016 justjilltoday; written November 16, 2016
a poem written on the morning of November 16, 2016
by Jill L Ross (aka JustJillToday)
Last night I wanted to call “uncle.”
I wanted to tap the ground three times
Accept defeat
And get the bell to ring
So I could get up off the ground
Get out from under the power that
Seems stronger, and more effective than I
Last night I wanted to say “I give.”
Earlier in the day, I did give.
When I paid for my coffee,
I paid for two, and told the cashier it was for the guy still making his at the counter in the back.
I didn’t know him.
Later in the day,
I stopped what I was doing to see whether I could help a guy who set off his car alarm and couldn’t get it to stop.
And when I got it to stop, returned to my customer, and it went off again,
I stopped again – to help.
Random acts of kindness…
Not so random - a desperate effort to regain some sense that kindness is easy,
That the most simple gesture can help me feel, if only for a moment, connected to another human being
That the simplest gesture, sometimes nothing more than holding open a door, can help stop the world for one split second and open a space to feel what it’s like to be kind or receive kindness.
Last night I wanted to say “It’s too hard”
It’s too hard to keep showing up,
Showing up for my own pain and disappointment,
For the pain and suffering of those I love
And those I do not know but for whom I care nonetheless
Last night I wanted to say “I can’t do this anymore”
I can’t one more time try to get someone to see what I see
Or ask someone to help me see what they see
Only to be ridiculed, mocked, attacked, or shut down in some other way
Only be pushed to stay inside the lines – inside the boundaries of “us" or "them"
Two boxes floating in space; no place between
To meet or talk or get to know one another
Last night I wanted to pack my bags and go
Anywhere
Not because I haven’t believed that here is the best place to be
Not because I haven’t loved my home
But because right now this doesn’t feel like home
It doesn’t feel safe
It doesn’t feel like a place where I can take shelter
Where I'll be protected from the harsh would outside
Because right now, I am more afraid of what’s happening right here, in my home
Than I am afraid of what’s ‘out there.’
© 2016 justjilltoday; written November 16, 2016
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