Everyday Life  Post the 2016 Election:  An Invitation to Participate

Every day I meet people who talk about how their lives have been influenced by the election and its aftermath.  Many people are stressed, tired, depressed, anxious, and are struggling in some of the relationships most important to them.  And some people feel just fine and don't know what all the fuss is about.

I think it's time talk...and listen...and try to hear and understand one another.

Toward this end, I am inviting people to participate in on-on-one interviews and facilitated group discussions that focus on the influence of the 2016 election on our personal and everyday lives.  

These conversations are not about changing minds, converting beliefs or positions.  They  are an  effort to 

• Provide safe space for people to speak freely and honestly; 
• Explore and consider the relationship between personal and political in these times;
• Encourage reflection and clear seeing about our own beliefs and values; and ultimately
• Facilitate communication and understanding among and between persons with differing political positions and points of view.

If you’d like to participate send email to me at LifePostElection2016@gmail.com
Please indicate
1. where you live (and if not  on Cape Cod, whether you have skype access)
2. whether you'd like to participate one-on-one or in a group setting

All voices welcome!
Seeking participation from people across the full political spectrum.
If you know others who might like to participate, please share this invitation.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself in the parking lot of the Brewster Ladies Library doing the most amazing dance!
I'd run into a guy I'd met and worked with on a project about 7 years ago.  We hadn’t known each other socially.  We got talking, and it turns out he supported (and continues to support) Trump.

So we danced.
We started talking calmly about why we each felt as we did regarding the election, and what's been happening since. Then things heated up.  

We moved closer together, then farther apart.  We got louder and more intense, then we backed off.  

As I write, I just keep seeing the two of us in 18th century formal garb, in an elaborate ballroom, gloved hands separated by a handkerchief, never getting too close as we moved around the floor.

It didn't escape our notice that what was happening in our encounter was happening all over the country – in one way or another.

Each of us had enough interest in not walking away angry, or maybe it was that we each has enough curiosity about how to do this (talk with each other, hear each other), that we were able to stay with it.  We kept stepping up and stepping back.


At one point we were going to end and go our separate ways (we'd be in that parking lot for some time). As a gesture, as if to say 'we're good,' he stepped in for a hug.  I pulled back.  I wasn't ready.  I can't now remember what it was I still needed to say, but I needed to say something that I felt he hadn't heard or I hadn't said or was somehow important to me but seemed lost in our exchange.

And again, more committed to ending on a good note than to 'winning,' he let me say what I needed to. And he made a gesture that told me he heard me (maybe he repeated it back...it's funny that I can't now remember).

And then I was ready.  We did hug goodnight.  

And before we parted, my friend (dance partner?) pointed out that we’d each used the word ‘abhor’ expressing our feelings about the person for whom the other voted.  Abhor.  Now that's a pretty strong word!  That's not simply comment on what's happening in the world around us, that's personal!  
Something deeply personal had been tapped into - for both of us, and I suspect for many of us, all across the country, regardless of where on the political spectrum one stands.


So we agreed to step back, to each consider what that level of intensity was about, why we both used the word 'abhor.'  
We agreed to resume another day.  
We haven't yet, but I suspect we will.

I’ve not kept it secret how I have felt about the election, the new president, and the administration he put in place.  And I do believe there is much to resist in these times.

And while I believe “RESIST" served well as a soundbite to rally people and motivate millions to turn post-election emotion into action, I can't help but wonder whether it now may undermine the effectiveness of those of us truly committed to protecting people, the planet, and American democracy.

​That two syllable, single word, written in all caps (today’s digital equivalent of shouting) is too easily heard (or dismissed) as rejection of everything and/or everyone who voted for the current president, stands to the right of center, or simply is not standing under the banner themselves.

I think we’d be well served to get more specific about what we resist, AND about what we value, support, and believe. 

I suspect regardless of your own positions and beliefs, some who you have labeled ‘them’ actually agree more than disagree with much of what you are for and against. 

Maybe that's not the case, but getting explicit helps us find out.

So one night, I sat down and wrote out what I, Jill L Ross, resist.  

Then I wrote out what I seek to protect, what I value, and what I believe apropos of our country. 
It was a good and clarifying exercise. 
 
I turned my words into the flag below.   This flag, like a mission statement, helps me keep focus when it can feel as though I’m treading water in a raging sea.  This flag marks the shore toward which I am committed to swimming. 
 
I am not resisting everyone who doesn’t see the world, our country, democracy, or people as I see them; I am not resisting everything proposed or supported by any specific person or people, because of who proposed or supports them.  

I don't know that this helps, but at least now, instead of the a soundbite, I have my flag.  I can't insist anyone read it, but I can wave it and I can wear it and I can RESIST soundbites that stop the very conversations I deeply believe we need to have.  We have to use our words!